3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
