Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
