More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
