just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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