so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
