My balls are so social today.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
