Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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