Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
