You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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