pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
