If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
