You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
