I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
