i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
