you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
