I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
