some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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