It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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