your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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