she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
