How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm at about main and main street
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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