So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
