Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
