the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
