Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
