I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
