he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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