Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
