I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
