If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i need some magic done to my vagina
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Panties = found
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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