if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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