im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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