What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
