This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
