just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
