Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
