Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
