I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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