Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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