It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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