I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
