I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
