I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
