Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
