none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
