So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize