I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
