I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize