hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
