Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
