after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The air was thick with penises
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
